I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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