is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The best revenge is premature balding
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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