Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
