Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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