...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
