She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
