just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
