we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I supernannyed him into submission
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
