just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and you fell through a lawn chair
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
