omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FUCK WHALES
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
