i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
