We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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