i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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