Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
