It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
