So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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