Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
