Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
