remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
