You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
