He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
