Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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