the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
