just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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