I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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