News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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