i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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