found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
COCAINE IS GR8
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
