His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
