I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
