He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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