I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
