idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
