K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
