i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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