"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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