1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
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