I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
