STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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