No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
