it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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