I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
