I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
handjob tips. give me some.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
