i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
