not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
