And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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