did you get engaged???
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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