Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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