Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
