I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
soo... how was my night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
