Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

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(314): View more from Missouri

My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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(203): View more from Connecticut

after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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(904): View more from Florida

It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.

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