new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
