you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
