I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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