"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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