Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
NoShamevember. You game?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
