Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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