they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
