How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
